she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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