woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Im part way to drunk.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
