I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
