Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
