bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
