Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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