I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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