She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So squirting runs in the family.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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