she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
