I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
He kissed a someone with a penis
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
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