I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Life is so much better after having sex.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize