Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
