Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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