Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
