I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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