Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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