Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
