yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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