Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
