Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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