Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
