lets start a swedish sibling band together
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Congratulations! We have a period
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
