week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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