Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
