is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
