im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
