Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
and you fell through a lawn chair
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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