I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
