I like to think it a success when the cops are called
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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