it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
