whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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