I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
