Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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