why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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