Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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