just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
