Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
