I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
