did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
