I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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