She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
