he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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