There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
