Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
