First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
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