I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
