Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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