we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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