Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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