I seem to have left my pride at pride
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
