would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
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