He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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