Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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