That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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