This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
