It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
