Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
